Sunday, December 30, 2012

What's a technical SAHM?

I am a technical SAHM*.

It's a term I have invented for myself. Pretty much it means that I am a SAHM except for the rare occasions that I do go to work. I'm one of hundreds of thousands of technical SAHMs.

For instance, I am working one day in December, on day in January and a couple of days in February. Yeah, some would say that my work is a holiday from The Man and the midgets (and sometimes it is). I identify as a SAHM because I spend all but eight hours every fortnight in the company of one or both of my children, but that pesky shift once in a while stops me from being a REAL SAHM. Oh well.

Lucky I love my job, isn't it?!

But tonight after my first shift back after having Buddy, I realised that Honey had issues today because she missed me. Back before when I went to work, she'd happily play with her dad all day and not even notice I was gone, but she noticed this time, and she SCREAMED and SHOUTED and RANTED and RAVED when The Man tried to put her in the shower to wash off all the dirt and muck she'd accrued during her (apparently) very full-on and fun day she had with her father. It ended up that I had to dangle Buddy as he had a feed and sat in front of the shower so Honey could see me.

Didn't seem to help though and all that seemed to happen was my left boob was stretched ridiculously by Buddy, while Honey continued screaming at her dad.

But afterwards I read to Honey and sung/read this song at least four times. Not because she liked the song, but because I found it funny.

My sense of humour, and what I find amusing even baffles me sometimes.

High Jump

The Shrew said to the Kangaroo,
"I can jump as high as you!"
Laughed Kanga, "How can that be true?
Of one so small, please tell me, do!"

A kangaroo
Said Shrew, "I'll show you, then you'll see
I'll jump so high, I'll reach that tree!
But first of all you must agree,
To show your jumping skills to me!"

A shrew
(always thought they were a bird - eh, go figure)
Then Kanga bounced into the air,
So busy he was unaware
That Shrew was clinging to his hair
To reach the treetop - most unfair!

A tree
Back Kanga landed on the ground,
"Your turn," he said, and spun around.
"Up here!" called Shrew, a distant sound,
"Well," said Kanga, "I'll be bound!"

I read this so many times that Honey wouldn't let me read it anymore and closed the book on my hand, BUT I had already memorised it so now she thinks all the poems and songs in her book are about the Shrew and the Kangaroo, HA HA!

*SAHM is a Stay At Home Mom/Mum

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